Express Counter: What's not to understand?

Our hero leaps from his car and dashes past the metal grills of the entrance into the supermarket, quickly removing his ultra-cool sunglasses and making a beeline for the diapers and baby-stuff section. Acknowledging cheers from his (invisible and imaginary) audience, he snags a shopping basket and walks triumphantly to the targeted treasure. In a couple of seconds he snatches a pack of diapers and some body lotion for his partner and races back to the Stargate. It is unmissable. Bright red signpost with white letters: "Express Counter: Not more than 5 items."

"Jackson, start dialing...!" He yells in his mind.

Jackson begins to dial the checkout counter. Chevron one encoded, two... three... four... Suddenly, the gate controls flash the message: "inbound travelers". This is caused by two shoppers with an extremely overloaded shopping trolley lumbering across the front of the ring and rumble to a stop in front of the express counter! Our hero pauses in mid-flight, stupefied and expecting the cashier to override the command and point the offending shoppers to the regular Stargate.

Shock! The cashier begins processing the shopping items through the Stargate before our hero, and positions her face in such a way as not to catch the angry stares being directed at her. Stargate heroes are not usually the patient kind... Our hero wishes that he had brought along his Jaffar staff weapon just as a show of might. To add insult to injury, most of the counter cloggers wait until the items have been checked out to start looking for the appropriate currency from within their complex baggage devices. Oh well, this is P3X-Uchumi and signposts dont mean that much unless its Christmas shopping season. But surely, what's not to understand?

Translation, anyone?

I understand that I am not trained in medicine, and that visits to the hospital require me to act dumb and assent to everything that is handed down to me. Well, today I decided to have a look at the little slip of paper that comes inside one the medicine bottles for my daughter, hoping to get some insights into how to administer the portion and achieve the desired results. This is what I encountered as I scanned quickly through the different translations and came to the english part:

"Treatment and prophylasis of intestinal dysmicrobism and subsequent endogenous dysvitaminosis.

Sounds like Vulcan, doesn't it? The only problem is, what does it mean? I couldn't help but frown when i got to the part that says:

"There are no known interactions subsequent to the concomitant use of other drugs."

Luckily for all of us, the good people at the pharmacy simplified everything by explaining that each dosage takes care of stomach upsets in children and should be taken twice daily. I think that second quote up there means that there are no (known) side effects. In other words, that's a disclaimer. Pretty random.

Warmer Days, Shorter Days

Anyone who lives in my part of the planet will tell you that we have been having exceptionally warm days, ideal weather for water sports enthusiasts. Simultaneously, the time spectrum seems to have shrunk and one is left with more work to do than time of day, especially if you are involved in protests against your government leader who doesn't see what the fuss is all about. Some of those experiencing this "shorter-day" phenomenon have even had Death Gliders shoot at them in an attempt to get everyone to agree with the ruling Goa'uld. But we also have reports of Jaffar pilots refusing to follow orders to shoot on the citizens of P3X-Tripoli.

Warm days, clear blue skies, hot air and so little time to enjoy. If these little items were called something more inspiring, I would certainly want to have one parked on the roof of my apartment block, for quick access to and from work. A miniature version would be ideal for zapping mosquitoes. And flies that multiply with the warm weather.

It's a new decade...

That is a fact. I need not repeat the fact that the days have past since we were enamored by the Vulcans and the Klingons and the Andorians. Many seasons later I am discovering the wraiths, the Nox, the Goaulds and the Stargate device that makes traveling so much faster. Can you imagine if we had Stargates that connected us from our homes to our offices? That would definately save on all those hours spent in traffic, counting cars and memorizing car registration plates while thinking of all the other things one could have been doing, eg exploring a planet in the Starbucks system with company and sampling the brown liquid that is renowned the galaxy over.

However, the most important thing is to note that this blog is back in business. Welcome to the rest of my life.